Seaside Explorer T-Shirts

"Hey! Watch where you're stepping!"

'I'd be more amazed if I DIDN'T hear the ocean.'

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

Unknown

'That reminds me - how's your father?'

Beached cow.

Easter Island 'child', with bucket and spade, has buried parents in the sand, hence we can only see their heads.

'You'd better dig him up again, Veronica - He's got the car keys!'

Trouble parking in Brighton

'Let's face it, a pier is just a bridge that doesn't go anywhere!'

Pelican and Origami

"Don't dive bomb right here, it's too shallow..."

Punch and Judy quicksand...

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

Local Knowledge

Beach con-man.

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

Captain in a storm

"The note in the bottle said someone's stranded here, but where is he?"

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

Try me/try me/try me...

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

'Slip Ahoy!'

Fish snorkling above water.

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

A Preschool of Fish

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

'I wish I was creative'

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"