Search Engine Sleuth Pillows

"And to Gloria Beal, the award for most google and bing citations..."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

Computer Crimes

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

'Gimme all your cache!'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

I'd rather be phishing.

"I've memorized so many passwords, things are starting to get weird."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."