Seamstress With A Twist T-Shirts

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

I quilt therefore I am

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Ball as water-melon.

Arts and crafts

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

Purple dress

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

Sew on a sequin!

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

Falloon's Menswear. Where it's always brown trouser time.

Bernice Mountain Dog

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

A tailor measuring a large man

"Is there a seamstress present?"

"Marie Antoinette? This is she."

Harps and Embroidery.

Crocodile Shoes

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."