Seamstress With A Twist T-Shirts

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

I quilt therefore I am

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Ball as water-melon.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Arts and crafts

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

Purple dress

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

Sew on a sequin!

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

Bernice Mountain Dog

Falloon's Menswear. Where it's always brown trouser time.

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

A tailor measuring a large man

"Is there a seamstress present?"

Crocodile Shoes

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

Naked Furniture

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

"Marie Antoinette? This is she."