Amateur Seamstress T-Shirts

"I admire your devotion to duty."

I quilt therefore I am

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Arts and crafts

Moving in

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

Purple dress

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

Sew on a sequin!

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

A tailor measuring a large man

"Is there a seamstress present?"

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

Pollsters

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

Harps and Embroidery.

A tailor measuring a jacket.

Zorro, The Embroiderer

"And this is our 'panic room'. We usually pop in here after watching the nightly news."

Great Moments in Computer History: Betsy Ross sews the first bar code.

Sportknitting

Patient after an appendix operation