Amateur Seamstress T-Shirts

"I admire your devotion to duty."

I quilt therefore I am

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Arts and crafts

Moving in

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

Purple dress

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

Sew on a sequin!

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

"Is there a seamstress present?"

A tailor measuring a large man

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

Harps and Embroidery.

Pollsters

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"And this is our 'panic room'. We usually pop in here after watching the nightly news."

Great Moments in Computer History: Betsy Ross sews the first bar code.

Sportknitting

Zorro, The Embroiderer

Patient after an appendix operation