Seal Supporter Gifts

Save our seals - "I doubt my little vote will make any difference."

'No matter how many times I beat these guys they still don't take me serious.'

'There aren't plenty more fish in the sea...'

"The cultural appropriation is annoying but the herring is delicious."

'Freedom is nice, but I miss the Circus for the applause and the three square meals a day...'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Seals on Wheels

'Do you mind if we switch to the Discovery Channel? There's a wonderful show on migratory habits of gray seals.'

"Don't worry, I never get the jokes either, but if you clap your flippers, he'll throw you a fish..."

"Well thank you, and may I say you look quite handsome too..."

At Whelkaholics

"Got anything in a medium?"

"Laugh all you want, I know it's a wig, but it's keeping me warm!"

"I better up your dosage to two baby seals."

"Hey, they're shooting their wedding photos on the beach! Let's go and photobomb them to make them even more special..."

"Fancy a s**g?"

"That's right buster, think twice: we have clubs too now!"

With my mum stopping anybody from hurting me, keeping rivals away is a breeze...

That's right Darling, the earth is round and the Great Seal in the Sky is balancing it on its nose...

"Hey cool, looks like a whole baseball team is coming to practice in our neighbourhood..."

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

Seal Hunt: This year, I'll strike first!

After Hours at Sea Lion Caves, Oregon.

Tell me again why they call you man 'kind'?

'You suck milk out of your mum? That's disgusting!'

"It's elephants who never forget. Elephant seals forget all the time."

'Forget about vegetables: You need fat in your diet, a lot of fat!'

"We'll have the grilled penguin."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Too many of my babies became coats, so I decided to increase security...

'Why can't you collect shells like the other kids?'

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."