Sculpting Sage Pillows

"It's still in beta."

Ars longa, vita brevis (Art is long, life is short).

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Annual run-off at the mouth.

Lady of the bath...

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

The Paper Route

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

I love embroidery

One way only.

"First order of business...no more memos beginning 'Once Upon a Time.'"

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

Three Witches from Macbeth

"Less roman, more clef."

Sylvia Plath

Just think of meditation as "mental floss." (Published previously on 3/17/2006.)

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's

'Beautiful book. However, I'm afraid it lacks video game potential.'

When cartoonists get ahead of themselves.

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'Huh...I just got this sudden, uncontrollable urge to invent spoken language.'

Punch and Judy Sales Conference

"Hunters turned philosophers"

'The Merry Men are NOT groupies!'

Tragedy and Material

Shakespeare begins a play about a ship's captain and a white whale... and realizes he's never even been on a boat.