Scriptural Satire Enthusiast Pillows

'I would describe it as a splitting headache.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'Yes, all at once!'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"Relax, folks! I’m a lawyer. I can always find loopholes!"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Cheap Labour Countries.

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

Gates of heaven

'Verily, Noah, the flood I am about to unleash is retribution for Tory defections to UKIP!'

"The amendments are coming next week!"

'All the tellers are nuns.'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'Ever since we converted the church into a jail, everyone is finding Jesus.'

Holy Relics.

Religious toilets.

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"