Biblical Satire Enthusiast Pillows

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

'Hey! †I thought we were going to make our own rules!'

Jesus hitch-hiking with his cross.

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

'Prototype number 18a/e, Adam and eve (paradise model) start again

'Eve, I think we should see other people.'

'You listen to me carefully, son. Any more of this behaviour and I might just answer the peoples' call for a second coming!'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Ghostwriting the Bible

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"OMG, LOL!"

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Have your people call my people."

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'