Biblical Satire Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

'Hey! †I thought we were going to make our own rules!'

Jesus hitch-hiking with his cross.

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

'Prototype number 18a/e, Adam and eve (paradise model) start again

'Eve, I think we should see other people.'

'You listen to me carefully, son. Any more of this behaviour and I might just answer the peoples' call for a second coming!'

"Yeah, right, Noah. Like THAT'S gonna work!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Ghostwriting the Bible

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"OMG, LOL!"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."