Scripted Sports Fan Gifts

"Remeber this is supposed to be fake, so don't yell when he breaks your arm."

"Good game."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Alternative fielding positions

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Spring Training

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Trojan Hurdler.

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'