Scripted Sports Fan Gifts

"Remeber this is supposed to be fake, so don't yell when he breaks your arm."

"Good game."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Spring Training

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

Alternative fielding positions

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Raheem Sterling

Trojan Hurdler.

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'