Script Sticklers Pillows

"I don't get it. I'm playing a legendary jazz musician and the director keeps telling me to stick to the script and stop improvising."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'They all want to play the star.'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

Hollywood producer.

Hollywood producer.

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Eugene Ionesco

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

I have a new linguistic pet peeve. It's when, instead of just saying something like, "Bob ate a sandwich," people say, "Bob, he ate a sandwich." It drives me absolutely crazy. Speaking as a psychiatrist, that's a short drive, Al.

"Great money scenes!"

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

Woody Allen

Scrip Doctor

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

Dear Diary

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

Subtitles for the Stupid