Script Sticklers Prints

"I don't get it. I'm playing a legendary jazz musician and the director keeps telling me to stick to the script and stop improvising."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'They all want to play the star.'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

Hollywood producer.

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Hollywood producer.

"Great money scenes!"

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

Eugene Ionesco

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

Dear Diary

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

Scrip Doctor

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

Subtitles for the Stupid

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

Writer's Strike