Screen Gazer Gifts

Better Living Through Technology

Worshiping the TV.

'They might as well sleep all day - all they do is stare at that screen.'

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, You should probably log off now.

The Googler

"It's just if the TV isn't on I never know where to look."

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"Oh wow it's ten thirty. I'm late for bed."

Colour is only seen on mobiles.

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Cardio-lip-reading

"Siri, what can I look at when my battery dies?"

Technology and literature

"That's a zombie, alright. But he's the worst kind. He doesn't eat brains, he eats data."

Used to be people that lit up your life.

ZOOM 'n' GLOOM.

"Good game."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

'T.M.I.F.'

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Have you been playing dice?"

Where Indian ink came from.

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Man showing in the rain.

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'