Scratch Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Instructional guide to scribbling

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

Vincent Van Goat.

Jackson Pollock as a child

About the potter.

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

Moliere

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

C Day Lewis.

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

Before Art School. During Art School. After Art School

"I don't pretend to be great. I merely know myself to be very, very good."

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

Masterpiece?

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Artist painting a dancer.

Baker

"What?!! I'm reducing friction on the ice."