Scrapbook Rival Pillows

Violence erupts at Scrapbooking Expo 20113 when Marge Durwitz refers to her longtime rival Janet King's work as 'crapbooking' once too often.

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Polygamists' Picnic

Lady to man taking picture of fish: 'Wiggle him a little and get him to smile.'

"Why mum, I didn't know that you had written a book."

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'They're not out of focus. They're just fuzzy memories.'

The Hendersons: The Shitty Years

The Remote Olympics

'My app just ate your widget.'

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

"Jones ... don't use that 'I'm only human' excuse with me again!"

'You're an interesting combination of shallow and thick.'

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

'He keeps a scrapbook of newspaper articles about bathtub injuries.'

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')

"Oh, not much. Just sitting here sifting through an old scrapbook of past injustices and imagined slights."

'Darling, didn't you hear? Black is the new black.'

"Mom always liked you best."

"An area where a specific species lives. . . like my older sister in the bathroom."

'Sonia, do you think we are living through what will become 'The good old days'?'

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed all my brothers and sisters."

'I don't mind hand-me-downs. I just wish my brother had played football.'