Scrapbook Rival Pillows

Violence erupts at Scrapbooking Expo 20113 when Marge Durwitz refers to her longtime rival Janet King's work as 'crapbooking' once too often.

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Polygamists' Picnic

"Why mum, I didn't know that you had written a book."

Lady to man taking picture of fish: 'Wiggle him a little and get him to smile.'

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'They're not out of focus. They're just fuzzy memories.'

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

'My app just ate your widget.'

The Hendersons: The Shitty Years

The Remote Olympics

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

'You're an interesting combination of shallow and thick.'

"Jones ... don't use that 'I'm only human' excuse with me again!"

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

'He keeps a scrapbook of newspaper articles about bathtub injuries.'

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

"It's the Garden Street book club. They wanna rumble!"

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

Memory Lane (lined with post-its).

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')

"Oh, not much. Just sitting here sifting through an old scrapbook of past injustices and imagined slights."

Trick Number 9: plant valuables in his room...in case you need a reason for a quick getaway.

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed all my brothers and sisters."

"Mom always liked you best."

'Sonia, do you think we are living through what will become 'The good old days'?'

'Darling, didn't you hear? Black is the new black.'

"An area where a specific species lives. . . like my older sister in the bathroom."

'I don't mind hand-me-downs. I just wish my brother had played football.'