Scrabble Lover Pillows

"Is the internet down, again?"

"You're going to hate yourself."

'The girls must be feeling better...'

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

Why giraffes hate winter

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

"You're overprotective. Stop telling her not to go out on a limb."

Crossword bathroom tiles.

'He runs a very successful hedge fund.'

'...And then, apparently, it just went berserk when someone insisted on having 'Podcast'.'

'You'll grow into it!'

'How God invented polish'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"Well, Martha, I certainly hope your Scrabble victories keep you warm at night!"

'Acorns or chocolate cake?'

Here Lies P_T_R W_I_L__S: Inventor of the Crossword Puzzle