Scrabble Enthusiast Pillows

'How God invented polish'

I'm off to the senior Scrabble championships. One more thing to do … Nice word! My dead hamster has a better vocabulary. Taunting practice. You're ready, baby!

Day 2 of the senior Scrabble championships. We have a major controversy. Judges say one of the front-runners may be disqualified. They are accusing her of performance-enhancing substances. You're juiced on extra fiber. I was framed! Sadie rocks!

'We belong to the most diverse group of animals on earth, but we're going to play scrabble with the Trubshaws again!'

"You're going to hate yourself."

'The girls must be feeling better...'

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"Ok, so you beat me at scrabble!"

Crossword Dictionary Bookstore

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Phil uses all seven tiles in Scrabble and ascends to heaven

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

'Whatever, crosswords are stupid.'

"Well %$@#(&!! is not a banned word in the &%Xsing UK!"

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

'Bad dog, stop doing the crossword.'

'Don't be hard on the boy, dear, I'm sure that Van Gogh's first sunflowers weren't so hot.'

'Caroline goes to her crossword compiling class on Thursdays.'

"A three letter word. . . all powerful colloquially known as 'the man upstairs'."

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

Have you seen my iPhone? No. You lost it? I may have misplaced it. Big deal. You hate it. It'll turn up. Exactly, I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I especially hate the Scrabble app and I absolutely can't wait to find the phone so I can mock it further! Help: I love my iPhone. Oh dear. Trouble brewing. To be continued ...

"I don't like playing Scrabble with Gracie! She totally makes up all kinds of crazy words! And they're always in the dictionary!"

'...And then, apparently, it just went berserk when someone insisted on having 'Podcast'.'

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

'Sorry, I can't help you: I'm very good at mazes, but not crosswords...'

'I'm sure you'll find having a crossword will help your marriage.'

Psychobabble.

Congress today convened a special panel to study use of illegal performance enhancing drugs on the senior Scrabble tour. Members of Congress expressed outrage that such a national pastime could be sullied by fiber doping. Their anger led to an angry exchange with one witness. Hey Congress, here's a four-letter word … Turn off her mic.

'Tiling a Bathroom for a Crossword Puzzle Editor.'