Scrabble Savants Pillows

Congress today convened a special panel to study use of illegal performance enhancing drugs on the senior Scrabble tour. Members of Congress expressed outrage that such a national pastime could be sullied by fiber doping. Their anger led to an angry exchange with one witness. Hey Congress, here's a four-letter word … Turn off her mic.

"You're going to hate yourself."

'The girls must be feeling better...'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

'You could do that.' I did

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

"Ok, so you beat me at scrabble!"

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

Phil uses all seven tiles in Scrabble and ascends to heaven

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"Well %$@#(&!! is not a banned word in the &%Xsing UK!"

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

'Don't be hard on the boy, dear, I'm sure that Van Gogh's first sunflowers weren't so hot.'

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

Have you seen my iPhone? No. You lost it? I may have misplaced it. Big deal. You hate it. It'll turn up. Exactly, I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I especially hate the Scrabble app and I absolutely can't wait to find the phone so I can mock it further! Help: I love my iPhone. Oh dear. Trouble brewing. To be continued ...

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"I don't like playing Scrabble with Gracie! She totally makes up all kinds of crazy words! And they're always in the dictionary!"

'...And then, apparently, it just went berserk when someone insisted on having 'Podcast'.'

"Those are all my passwords."

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

'How God invented polish'

"Well, Martha, I certainly hope your Scrabble victories keep you warm at night!"

Come to bed, snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points, and then told him his parents don

"I hope you don't mind, I've just scribbled a few different ideas!"

'Hey! We can play Scrabble while we eat!'

I'm thankful for Xbox Series X. Scrabble. The Love Doctor. Well I'm thankful for friends and family. That's what I meant. What he said. and the Love Doctor.

"I'm not good at confrontation, so unscramble this phrase in your head for a surprise message."

Schr?dinger's cat playing Scrabble.

'Of course this scribble doesn't make any sense. Why do you think the critics call it an intellectual masterpiece?'

"I'm pretty sure the word you've used to describe the new Scrabble isn't allowed."