Scoreboard Smiler T-Shirts

Superdome: Now Playing Har Bowl.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Giving feedback is a complex process.

Pessimists v Optimists.

Ski lift.

"I quit."

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

"Stop right there, it's my stockbroker: I have to take this!"

"I'm loving the new scoreboard!"

Olympic School

"I lost count back there after your fifth stroke. How many did it take?"

Man on death bed, hand in clouds through window like umpires, 'The final out'

'I'm sorry, but zoning laws only allows roads made out of lo-cal gravel.'

'This is looking less and less like leg cramps and more and more like a career-ending injury.'

"It was their idea to make you breakfast in bed."

'If you don't want to know the scores please exercise your distrust of the BBC now.'

"What's wrong, Joey? You're whistling. You never whistle."

Judges using half scorecards for a gymnast who crashed through the floor.

Figure Skating

"Did the score change while I sent that text?"

What I love most about this course are the little pencils they give you to keep score. They have erasers.'