Score Perfectionist Gifts

'I'm not asking you for a rough estimate. I want an exact number.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Bullseye!

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

Perfection

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

'In an inexplicable attack of nerves, Elliot becomes the first person ever to screw up John Cage's 4'33'.

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

Santa's Out Tray.

"You're welcome."

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

The battle of the pianos.

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

'How's the ringtone coming along, Ludwig?'

"For tonight's performance I have stripped everything, as far as possible, down to the "urtext" edition."

"Page 33, line 4..."

Wanting his picnic with Gwen to be perfect, Hal made sure they would not be bothered by ants.

'This course is a great ego builder.'

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

'He was taller online!'

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

Cull people who talk and text during a concert you've paid good money to see.