Grade Perfectionist Gifts

"I got 75 percent right on my math test!"

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Bullseye!

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

Perfection

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

'In an inexplicable attack of nerves, Elliot becomes the first person ever to screw up John Cage's 4'33'.

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

"You're welcome."

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"For tonight's performance I have stripped everything, as far as possible, down to the "urtext" edition."

'How's the ringtone coming along, Ludwig?'

The battle of the pianos.

"Page 33, line 4..."

'This course is a great ego builder.'

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

Cull people who talk and text during a concert you've paid good money to see.

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

'He was taller online!'