Grade Perfectionist Gifts

"I got 75 percent right on my math test!"

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Bullseye!

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Perfection

'In an inexplicable attack of nerves, Elliot becomes the first person ever to screw up John Cage's 4'33'.

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

Santa's Out Tray.

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

"You're welcome."

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

A tailor measuring a jacket.

The battle of the pianos.

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"For tonight's performance I have stripped everything, as far as possible, down to the "urtext" edition."

'How's the ringtone coming along, Ludwig?'

"Page 33, line 4..."

Wanting his picnic with Gwen to be perfect, Hal made sure they would not be bothered by ants.

'This course is a great ego builder.'

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

Cull people who talk and text during a concert you've paid good money to see.

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

'He was taller online!'

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."