Scissor Enthusiast Pillows

"Do you want it parted in the middle?"

Grand Opening! I wish someone had told me those weren't for haircuts.

Afternoon crafts

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

Haircuts

Scissors vendor.

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Be creative...!"

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

Hamlet in the craft shop.

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

The Sculptor

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

"Don't let it bother you. The doctor told my wife it would keep her mind sharp if she learned a new skill."

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

95 Theses That Will Blow Your Mind!

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

"I'll pencil you in for recess."

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

'I know it's dark out here - we're traveling faster than the speed of light'

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

A lumberjack leans against a giant pencil that reads "Giant Sequoia Brand No .2".

Battle.

Looking Daggers

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

Small Business Loan of Pencils