Scientific Storyteller Gifts

'I'm sick of writing grant proposals on spec.'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

Sciense. How can biodiversity be decreasing with so many species of Pokemon out there?

Shepherd and eurydice

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

Edgar Allen Poe

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

The Environmentalist

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"Is it that bad?"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.