Scientific Observation Pillows

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

Butterflies

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Vegetarian Birds

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'Break glass in case of tangled antlers.'

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

"OK, so you've won the mating fight, but will you please allow me visiting rights to see my kids?"

"I think he just ashed on me."

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"Of course I attend the meetings but I'm more of a lurker,"

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

"Oh, honey, look! A chestnut-sided warbler doing pull-ups!"

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."