Science-savvy Parents Pillows

"... and that this ham we're eating has enough sodium to give us high blood pressure. That's what I learned in school today."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

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'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

The Digital Family

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

Smartphone Sonogram

The modern generation!

Dr. Reynolds unsuccessfully combines night story time with EHR pajama time.

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

Baby cries into a cellphone.

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'