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"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

Dog phrenology

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

So You've Cloned Yourself

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

'Galileo, I said a right at the corner and then a left.'

The life of penguins.

It's an experiment.

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

"The physicists doubt it, the chemists want to change it, the psychologists are trying to interpret it and the biologists don't care."

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

"Actually, I find his murky past rather attractive."

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

'Look - it's SUPERBUG!'

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'