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The study found humans have only about twice the number of genes as a fruit fly. Of course, the data could be off a bit. It was done by researchers who had only about twice the number of genes as a fruit fly.

If Newton was a Botanist...'Ah, ha, the stem of an apple is not permanently fixed to the tree.'

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

'The test results are in for our new drug. 9 out of 10 doctors recommended the placebo.'

It's an experiment.

'There's a flaw in your experimental design. All the mice are libras.'

"I'm tired of being an electron."

'Your chemistry grade isn't high enough for you to wear your hair that way.'

'We're researching 'road rage'.'

'Have you discovered a source of renewable energy?'

Evolution looks like a good career move.

Early Anaesthesia

'Be advised that I am not going to consider those who don't bring their resume!'

"What do you mean you can't figure it out? It's not rocket science! Oh, wait..."

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'We geochemists did very well before there were geophysicists.'

Evolution "it's such a nice day, I think I'll walk"

'C'mon, Baby - we'll make beautiful mucous together!'

'If I knew what those trillions of bacteria wanted, I'd give it to them.'

'One of the great things about homeopathy is that because the remedies don't actually do anything there's no need to worry about nasty side effects.'

"That was a good adaptation."

"Okay fine. Go evolve. Just don't come back in millions of years and eat us."

To keep their students attention science teachers have resorted to pop-up text books,

"The world has run out of magnesium!"

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

"Trust you to swallow a nuclear submarine."

"It's not dark matter, you've got the lens cap on."

"Well, still no vaccine, but we're pretty close to yet another cure for erectile dysfunction."

'Put back his DNA.'

'You wouldn't believe how much better the back feels once I started walking erect.'

'Geez you two... get a womb!'

Scientist feels down back of sofa, saying: 'I think I've found the Higgs boson!'

"It's bee fifty years. I guess you really can't compare apples to oranges."