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'Henry, you are undermining the R&D team's confidence.'

"You look exactly like you DNA profile picture."

'Actually it was quite simple once I solved the cold fusion problem.'

Amoebae Parent evening - Gifted and Talented

Monkey House: "There is just no way that they could have descended from us."

'It's for teenage girls.'

Monopedalism Never Really Caught On

"We'd like to offer you a sales position but of course you'll have to start at the cellular level."

Monkeypox/Humanpox

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

The Food Chain

Schrodinger's Black Box

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

So You've Cloned Yourself

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

The life of penguins.

'Galileo, I said a right at the corner and then a left.'

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

Flan-eating bacteria

It's an experiment.

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

'By selective breeding over the course of 10,000 generations, we've managed to create the world's ugliest fruit fly!

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'