Science Humor Fans Pillows

'Henry, you are undermining the R&D team's confidence.'

"You look exactly like you DNA profile picture."

'Actually it was quite simple once I solved the cold fusion problem.'

Amoebae Parent evening - Gifted and Talented

I understand about the body parts, but did you have to put me in hand-me-down clothes?!

Medical Journal. I edited the article on pulmonary treatments. Now I need to write an abstract summarizing it. Ah, making a lung story short.

Monkey House: "There is just no way that they could have descended from us."

'It's for teenage girls.'

The arc of time & space: Naptime, primetime, snacktime, warptime.

Monopedalism Never Really Caught On

"We'd like to offer you a sales position but of course you'll have to start at the cellular level."

Monkeypox/Humanpox

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'Teenagers!'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

The Food Chain

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Schrodinger's Black Box

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

So You've Cloned Yourself

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

Flan-eating bacteria

'Galileo, I said a right at the corner and then a left.'

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

The life of penguins.

It's an experiment.

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'