Science Mavens Pillows

'You're failing chemistry!' 'But...you're taking away my dream of becoming a professional athlete!'

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

"That's a big fat lie!"

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

There's a popular new health spa down there. The endorphins are having a blast in aerobics. Antibodies are learning kickboxing and the adrenaline is getting some much needed relaxation in the yoga studio. The only problem is the water molecules. Everybody is concerned about them! What's wrong? They haven't been seen since they went into the sauna!

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

Ralph Stanley

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Victorious Vaccination Campaign

Dracula Admires His Offspring.

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

Portrait artist drawing DNA patterns.

Agatha Christie

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

Proposed Changes To The Laws Of Gravity

"After buying his 698th mobile device, his wife had him committed."

Tuba Player Stores a Barrel of Beer

'All those opposed, signify by using the usual sign.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

"OK, I'll tell you what I know, but I can't reveal my source."

'I can't remember. Edith, am I forgetful?'

"Fred and Ginger, but of course not the Fred and Ginger."

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

"You people make me sick. Nonetheless, here's a little toe-tapper."

"My one-man band is breaking up."

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

'Well, the whole purpose of creating the species was because I needed a pill for impotence. Now that they've invented this, we can make them extinct!'

Houdini tries to get out of dinner with his in-laws.

"I'm glad I found the time to join this meeting, otherwise we wouldn't see each other in years!"

"I see something horrible in your future; death... mayhem... EVIL... wait a see, it's just a fingerprint."

'I've been a model, a film star, a soap star, a dress designer... next I'm going to write a children's book and after that...'