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"Add three drops of potassium nitrate, wait ten minutes, and stir vigorously."

Occu-Pie Mars

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"Meet the author"

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

'Einsteiners.'

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Fifteen

Hair Crop Circle

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Star Wars vs Star Trek

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"How many darn burritos did you eat?"

Science fiction fans on other planets

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'

"They look like pickles."

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

Epic Battles

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

"I told you a firecracker behind his back didn't seem like a good idea!"

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

The government is lying to us about life on the moon phobia.

"I’ll tell ya who’s got a ‘dark side’: my cat, that’s who. You should see what she did to my Manolo Blahnik pumps!"