Science Fair Survivor Gifts

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Small child building a large contraption from junk

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

'Mom, this is my new best friend -- I built him in computer class.'

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

Science Fair. How viruses spread.

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

Nuclear generation of energy.

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

Science Fair Judgements

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

"Mine's bigger than yours."

"Well, team, we've been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler."

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

"Great. I guess he'll win again."

After Darwin - "I won't spoil it and tell you the ending."

'What did you learn at university today?'

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

'And then when I push this button it magnetizes the ions and...'

Science Fair: 'We need a new rule - all projects MUST be in a container!'

"When I was young, we used bottles, rocks and toothpicks for our school science projects."

Science FAir. Vegetable Growth Rate. The winning entry studied how fast vegetables grow. "Clock the beet."

"Oh, now you tell me!"

'You won first prize at the 2010 national science fair?'

"Just think, your student loan may outlive you."