Science Department Staff Gifts

University Science Dept - Grant writer: 'EUREKA!'

Albert Einstein

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'But what is the universe for?'

"Sign my yearbook?"

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

The Style of Elements

"Hey Pete, why do you think they call it a 'Supermoon?'"

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'What goes up, must come down!' 'Not if you give it enough thrust, to send it flying forever across the face of the universe.'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

"My homework ate my dog."

'Good evening! The debate over animal experiments continues...'

Gracie's baby toys.

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

The flies have landed.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

PROBLEM AREAS

If first impressions count for anything, this doesn't look good!

"It says here that people can't live without soil. I knew it!"

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

Dog forced to return bone

Graduation Speech.