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'Pillow fight!'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

"Recess does things to a man."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

The Charge of the Kids

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

'There are ten questions on this quiz. Each is worth 20 points.'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'Quick! Get me the dispute resolution mediator!'

'A substitute teacher on a Friday! What an awesome way to start the weekend!'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

"It was a professional hit..."

Shadow

"Yes, Eric you do need to do a duty. You know as well as I do that every dog has its day."

'The ate my allegation of improper conduct against you, Sir.'

Spy School

"Listen Smith, I don't care if the older boys are picking on you or not, you have to come into school - you're the deputy head for goodness sake!"

Fish in school to other fish: 'I did well in marine biology today - it was an open-brook test.'

To give more clout to his disciplining style, Principal Dave Murdock installed a wind tunnel in his office.

'Truth is, kids, I ate your homework.'

'And then I just hit delete. I haven't actually eaten any homework in years.'

'I'll need a note from the aliens who abducted you to excuse your absence.'

Principal sees a sign on faculty room: Happy Hour 3:00 - 4:30.

'Very funny, William. Take it off! You're scaring the other students.'

'Ok, who threw that?'

"You boys! Stop using parliamentary language in the playground!"

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'