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"Let's see. ... We'll take Death."

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

Santa does a keg stand.

"Recess does things to a man."

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

It's all gravy.

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'Yes, your son does ask questions in class but they're always 'Can I have the hall pass?'.'

As you like it - 'Is my wife at home?' ' Yes sir, and also your cousin'

"Very effective talk on the power of non-verbal communication."

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'I've eaten so much homework that I'm starting to age in paper years.'

Teenage Vegetables

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

A headmaster in the stocks covered in rotten eggs.

'I was hoping we'd worn that out.'

'Yes, I flunked history, but at least I now understand that quote, 'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.''

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

"Sergio, you know I don't snoop...but I was in Baldo's room this morning...and I found this."

"Stop saying, 'you do the math'. I flunked math!"

"I'm the acting superintendent. I oversee all the drama and theatre programs."

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

'Since when did we start getting report cards, too?'

'I can confidently say that James will go down in history - and probably in maths and geography as well...'

Student to mother: 'What a day. The health teacher left school sick, the debate team got expelled for fighting, the biology teacher dissected the school mascot, and the glee club, in general, went berserk.'

Paul Revere circa 3rd grade.

"Can I help it if a Russian hacker broke in and changed all my A's to D's?"

'Pillow fight!'

Test Tomorrow: No Books Or Apps - Just Bring Your Brain