Schooltime Strategist T-Shirts

"We should've expected this last June when they closed but didn't sell the fixtures."

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Thanks for coming to this 12.01 appointment, but I'm afraid my 12.02 has now arrived.'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

Walking To School Simulator

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

Workaholics Anonymous - Hourly General Meeting

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"What I should have done during vacation besides watching video games. . ."

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'That's the bell for round two.'

"You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15."

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

"I feel I need to take a break from academia."

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

Life Tetris