School Upgrade Pillows

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

Children's education

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

The new boy was teased for being different.

"I can't believe it! -- My Mom spent $45 on this hairdo, and they still didn't put me in the gifted class!"

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

'Me, I'm home-schooled: Getting to and from school was taking too much of my time...'

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

"Try to fit in, Dear."

'Nice, I can see you've taken Day-School classes to further your education...'

"I attribute most of my problems in the third grade to the media."

Boys in the cloakroom.

"Me and my family are Equatorists. We worship an imaginary lion that runs around the earth forever."

I can be upgraded, can you?

Obsolete: Any piece of software or hardware that your school brought last year for mega bucks.