School Trip Strategists Pillows

"Gracie, remember how you wanted me to go on that school field trip tomorrow...and I said I was too busy? Well, my appointment has been canceled, so I can go!"

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

The Litany Of Fun

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

'I think you might've over-packed. We'll only be gone for an hour.'

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'That's the bell for round two.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"What I should have done during vacation besides watching video games. . ."

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

"I told you Science was fun!"

'Now class...' says teacher looking at fish while the children are all staring at a mermaid in the next tank.

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

Soccer Moms

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

'I spy with my little intelligence gathering app...'

"I'll go in and look at stuff, but I won't read any signage."

Now class

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'