School Squad T-Shirts

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

Back to school

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

Good Luck in your Exams.

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

To lessen the strain on their backs, many students are opting for the new Velcro shirts.

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

Niche Extracurriculars

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

Can you help on our arts night for the environment? I'll be studying. Eco club. That's so short-sighted. I'm in 3 AP science classes. Someday I'll discover ways to organically eradicate pollution. Eco club. That's sooo long-sighted.

Back to School: 'Thanks for reminding me!'

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

Social distancing

"This has been a productive homework session!"

'What a huge disappointment. I thought French Club was about kissing!'

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

You're awesome, Larry! When that teacher said 'there are no dumb questions'...you sure proved HER wrong!"

"I heard you may be looking for an assistant in cell growth!"

'I'm getting a little concerned about Timmy. He hasn't wormed his way out of anything all semester.'

"This way, O' Brien."

You conservative dunce! You socialist ignoramus. Blue. Debate club. Red. Dittohead! Liberal fruitcake! Time's up! The winner of this school's tv talk show style debate is team red! Is that a cell phone? No. Decibel meter. Ungha! Ungha!! Ungh!!!

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'