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Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

Getting rid of bottled water at school is a good eco-club project -- in theory. But?

Can you help on our arts night for the environment? I'll be studying. Eco club. That's so short-sighted. I'm in 3 AP science classes. Someday I'll discover ways to organically eradicate pollution. Eco club. That's sooo long-sighted.

You conservative dunce! You socialist ignoramus. Blue. Debate club. Red. Dittohead! Liberal fruitcake! Time's up! The winner of this school's tv talk show style debate is team red! Is that a cell phone? No. Decibel meter. Ungha! Ungha!! Ungh!!!

Three juniors want to join our eco club. Good recruiting! No way I'm letting them in! What?! Be we need new members! Not necessarily! Gore lies. Global warming is hot air! I (heart) fur.

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

It's not worth planting a veggie garden at school. Only lettuce and radishes will be ready by vacation. How do you know? Eco Club. Everyone knows that tomatoes and beans aren't ripe 'til July. That's news to me. Me too! Maybe it is worth it. When do frozen peas ripen?

I'm graduating! You'll have to pick a new eco-club president. How will we ever manage? Not sure. Tap tap tap tap tap. Now one else screws things up as well as she does! Of course

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

'What a huge disappointment. I thought French Club was about kissing!'

Niche Extracurriculars

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

The best PE teacher in the World.

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

"Could you repeat that word?"

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

'The grudge match.'

Overloaded with extracurricular activities, Griffin's body began to grow an extra brain to cope with it all.

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

The Best Art Teacher in the World.