School Semester Pillows

'I know it all...I just can't remember it all at once.'

'Turns out the Yahoos didn't invent the search engine.'

Computer Room.

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Do your research!

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

University Soapflakes

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

Now showing, at a University near you...

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

Pull an all-nighter?

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."