School Improvement Gifts

"I'm doing my part to inspire a blue ribbon school."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"It's a mobile."

"He's my school project for science class."

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

"That's lovely darling, but I don't think that's what your teacher meant when she asked you to draw your family tree..."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

'Oh, Christ.'

"A homeless person ate my homework."

We're looking at better ways to share our knowledge & expertise. But I'm not going to tell you what they are.'

"I see you got an A+++ in science."

'Mistakes were made...'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"Miss Rogers, Sally Green. Is it true my son's research project is 'the effect of too much television on a typical ten-year-old?'"

Unpopular Kids on Show and Tell Day.

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

"Sis, I have to present this in class tomorrow. What would you suggest in terms of theme music?"

Girl at booth sell Homework Help and a boy sell Homework Eaten with a dog.

'Nice going, Mom.You ate my entire insect collection. Now I'll fail biology class at school.'