School Days Storyteller Pillows

"I'm sure you have some things you regret doing in elementary school."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

'Dad, the teacher said my grades remind her of old times. She says she was your teacher too.'

"Next week si my parent & teacher, principal, guidance counselor, crossing guard, bus driver and lunch lady conference. Is that bad?"

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."