School Chaperone Mugs

"Will you be here tonight, Principal Gomez?"

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

The best PE teacher in the World.

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"You've already been for a walk."

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

"Yes I really do need a glass of water. My duvets on fire."

"That's excellent, Caroline!"

'Here's my report card and here's my personal disclaimer.'

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

Broken ankle.

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

Cameron to improve school discipline - 'Stop arguing about David Cameron's leadership.'

'Come out of that cupboard. If you can't stand up to the class bully, who will? After all, you are the Headmaster...?'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

'There's a group here to see you about a class action!'

"I asked at reception for the person who runs the school... and they sent me to you!"

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"The custodian's job is 10 percent janitorial and 90 percent as my bodyguard."

'You must have been pretty sleepy this morning, Mom -- you made me a silverware sandwich.'

"Have a good day at school. Here - don't forget your lunch."

'Don't trust people Billy, they'll only hurt you.'

"You need some quality time with the kids. I just volunteered you at their school."

"I've about had it with Math. Yesterday the teacher said that 3 and 4 made seven. . . today she said 5 and 2 did!"

Teacher Tips

'I feel like a boxer. Every time I hear the bell ring, I come out fighting for the students' attention.'

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated skin, I'm calling your mother.'

At the Class of 1980 shape reunion - 'OMG, look at the old square Doris ended up with!'

'I hope that is not too much of an inconvenience for you, but I'm desperate to hold on to good teachers.'

'I'm afraid your daughter isn't paying attention in class.'