School Chaos Enthusiast Gifts

Never declare a food fight on artichoke day!

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"Finally...school starts next week."

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Well? Have I hit it yet?"

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

Classroom.

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

'Did I throw which spitball?'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

'Why? The year just started! She's not in any trouble. . . Ok. . . yet.'

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

'Dad...why would I ever want to get out of the first grade? I love first grade!'

"Should we really be starting a new unit so close to summer vacation?"

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'