School Award Ceremonies Pillows

'Proud parent of a cinnamon roll student.'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Paul goes home for the holidays

Win - win

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

Employee of the Month

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

King of Music.

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

'Oh, Christ.'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Oscars

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Teacher of the Year: "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"Great. I guess he'll win again."

Dolphin wins the swimming competition.

"I want to thank all the little people."

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.