Scholarly Crusader Gifts

'I'd give that teacher a piece of my mind if I could spare it.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"We thought this was more realistic."

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

Nervous Student

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

"He's not good with criticism."

Louis Pasteur Caricature

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

Gone Lecturin'

"Ms Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel the call to tech-support."

'That concludes the list of students with outstanding grades. And now for those of you with outstanding student loan payments...'

Trying to switch on the computer.

"Who should I call first: 911 or technical support?"

"I don't object to their right to roam, I just wish they would wipe their feet."

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"President Trump has decided that your services are no longer needed..."

"Good news! The White House has agreed to negotiate with us on that $400 mil in cuts!" "What do you have to give up next time... the other arm or a leg...?"

"There was a time when only the rich went to university... now even they can't afford it."

Big Brother Attacks Your Brain,

Ludwig van Beethoven

No.1 best-selling book on college campuses - 'How to say 'send money' in 101 languages'.