Scheme Analyst T-Shirts

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Anti-Agent

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

The Computer Bore

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Light Bulb Moment

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

The Life of Pi

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

"National security adviser"

"Morning, all!"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Time Is Money

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'