Scent Sultan T-Shirts

LOVENUTS: 'We were irresistibly attracted to each other's smells,' says Jo-Jo.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'Have you no common scents?!'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"Do you smell something?"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Fumes from furniture

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

"What pheromone are you using?"

You're right. It's not fear I smell but angst with a hint of regret.

This cologne reminds my husband of our first kiss, years ago in the old copy room. It's eau de mimeograph.

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

"Well done, yes, it's a skunk scent. Concentrate though, can you smell the faint trace of perfume? It's a female skunk..."

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

Again, that's yours.

'Don't pay any attention to him . . . his social networking relies on his sense of smell.'

Nostrildamus.

At the animal perfume fair.

'Those plug in air-fresheners seem to do the trick.'

Scientists discovered an immense hole in Siberia. Nobody knows what caused it. Some think global warming melted a huge, gas-filled hill made of ice so fast that is exploded. Let's let them go on thinking that, little buddy. House of Java.net Cybercafe. By the way, if you ever go out to the middle of nowhere to brew your own black market cologne, make sure you don't brew it on a hill made of ice. That does not constitute an admission of anything.

"Penny, what is that scent you have on? I must know." "Don't you just love it, Lucy? It's dead rat."

"Wait, are you wearing my Hermes 24 Faubourg."

"I was attracted by his edgy cynicism, but I hated his cologne."

"Young Master downright lied to Mistress! I can smell he didn't use soap or shampoo when he took his bath!"

An Ottoman Resurgence?

"I've decided - I want to create my own essence."

Manna from heaven puts the olfactory talents of Israel's dogs to the test.'

I can smell the cheese sandwiches.

'He says the scent killer isn't working and he wants his money back.'

'... and finally, would you like winter pine, or potpourri delight?'

"It's for people who have been using 'Obsession' too long."