Scent Detector Pillows

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Canine Scentipede

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

'Have you no common scents?!'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"Do you smell something?"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

Pheromones.

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

Excess

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."

'I must smell more.'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

"I ask you, how can something so cute and soft smell like a bag of Fritos?"

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

'I don't know why, but our new natural perfume line just isn't selling.'